"the deadliest bullshit is odorless and transparent" - William Gibson

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

fuck you carson!

I started this blog to write about my rehab from knee surgery. Perhaps this was a bad precedent.

I ran for 10 min the other day. First time I ran other than on a treadmill in 11 months. I was real excited about this accomplishment, but now it seems it was a horrible mistake. I am in near agony at the moment. I'm not even positive it was from the running, that was four days ago, but whatever the cause I can't take much more of this. I had almost forgotten how bad this sucks. I was going to even shoot some baskets this weekend. Instead, I've just quit the martial arts school 9at least for now), and switched anti-inflammatorys to the one I can take the highest dose.

I feel like an addict. Everytime I start to feel good and let my guard down, everytime normalcy appears on the horizon...the demon comes back. Carson is unforgiving. I can't let up. I guess there is a fine line between feeling sorry for yourself and using a strong feeling to affect change, but I've got to stay serious about all this rehab shit. got to rethink it. I'm 5 months out from the last knee surgery (my 5th) and when I ignore that, its at my own risk. grrr. i'm a cyborg. i can beat this.


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